What It Means

CLICK TO HEAR WHAT I WAS LISTENING TO

WHILST WRITING THIS BLOG.

 

Imagine just for a moment that everything around you 

Is within arms reach.

Everything you have ever dreamed of wanting.

Everything you have waited for your entire life.

What is it?

What is the ONE thing you imagine that it would be?

Now imagine, just for a moment, that you're holding it.

The ONE thing that makes your heart complete.

The ONE physical item that your heart has been longing for...

What is it?

Is it everything you have ever dreamed of wanting?

Is it everything you have waited for your entire life?

These are questions I think about on a daily basis

These are thoughts that my mind tries to comprehend

These are the words that describe what it means to "love."

I don't think there's a day that passes that I haven't read:

How are you so perfect?

How do you know all the right things to say?

Some girl is going to be lucky one day.

You should write a book.

You know, I can't help but laugh sometimes when I read that.

In the most sincere way,  it brings a smile to my heart.

Why?

Because I have somehow found what it means to "love."

If you're still reading this, thank you.

I'll now answer most of your questions. 

I don't really know "what it means" to love someone perfectly

I'm not perfect; I've made mistakes

There are things that I regret on a daily basis

but i don't let them get to me...

I know what I've done

And I know what I don't want to become

All I do know is that I've felt love

All I do know is that I enjoy love

All I do know is that I want to give someone that love...

Relationships?

I've been in two.

Well, three.

I should actually count that one

Since she was the girl who taught me to play my songs on guitar

But as far as long term, we'll stick to two.

First Relationship: You learn.

Second Relationship: You apply.

...and hopefully by the Third time, you get it all right.

So in any way does that make me "perfect?"

No, it shows that I'm human. 

You wouldn't believe it if I told you,

but i am a regular guy

There is NOTHING about me that I find to be better than anyone else at

There is NOTHING about me that makes me stand out

There is NOTHING about me that makes me into someone I am not

What I've learned, though, is that you keep on trying.

If you fall, you get back up again.

If you fail, you try again.

If you can't find the words to say, hum the song

If you can't see in the dark, trust your heart for guidance

If you can't run, you walk until you find what you're looking for

I think "love" is that smile on your face in the morning

When you wake up knowing that you have someone to love.

I think "love" is the warmth in your heart after a kiss

When all you can't wait for is the next one

I think "love" is the joy that makes you want to continue

Doing what your heart tells you to; and that's to never stop

I think "love" is walking hand in hand in the middle of a rain storm

With nothing but the thought of dancing with her in the pouring rain.

I don't really know what I'm searching for

These days haven't been what they've been before

But I do know a few things:

When I fall, I'll get back up again

When I fail, I'll try again

When I can't find the words to say, I'll hum the song

When I can't see in the dark, I'll trust my heart for guidance

When I can't run, I'll walk until I find what I'm looking for

And lastly...

When I can't sleep at night, 

I'll picture you smiling.

When I feel like there's no one out there for me,

I'll picture your hand in mine.

When I feel like there's no star to wish on,

I'll picture your eyes in the sky.

When I feel like everything is falling,

I'll picture you holding my heart in your hands.

To whomever you are out there

Just know that there's a heart big enough for the two of us

I'm not looking to get married ANY TIME soon

I hate PDA; honestly

I believe in this non-relationship term, these days, called "space."

I'm not taking you away from your friends

And I'm not leaving mine for you;

That's a selfish relationship, and I want you to be happy.

But you know what?

It's going to be a great feeling knowing that you're here.

Yeah, we're going to fight.

Yeah, we're going to yell.

Yeah, we're not going to be perfect.

...but you know what?

You'll always be my princess..

-Evan

SLIL; 365 DTJ Day 2. Fun Dates

(click to listen to what i was listening to while writing this blog)

 

remember as kid, growing up,

and your grandparents would say 

"well, when i was a kid, all we needed was a rock and sticks to have fun!"

i don't know about yall, 

but unless we're talking about some hardcore game of baseball

it's hard to believe that those two small things could bring much "fun."

but as for this blog

i'm going to post some fun date ideas.

and yes, i know what you're thinking...

...guys actually know things to do?

it's true.

and i'll list some great idea's that i've used in the past.

One.

there's this amazing device called an ENO.

they list for around $75 at some outfitter stores

but i'm telling you; 

it's a great investment.

What is an ENO, you say?

God's gift to man.

it's a simple hammock

made of parachute material 

heavy duty 

comes in set sizes of regular 

and double nest (the best size for those snuggle hangs)

Applying it to a date.

two ways.

A.) if you've been dating the set person for a bit, you can pack a picnic and take her out by the water. find two trees that are about 10 feet from each other, depending on the length of the slap straps that you buy. (personally, i would go to Home Depot and just buy rope and create your own) with that being said, it's fun for casual dates, especially if you're a college kid on a budget and looking to score some "sweet points."

B.) though the double nest hammock is great for those cuddling moments, it can also be used to sit in. if this is your second or third date, you can take her out during the afternoon for a casual "hang out" sesh. NOTE: save the sunset moments for when yall are together. you never want to warn a girl off by doing the sweet stuff first. maybe i'm wrong? 

Deaux. 

surprise her by showing her that you're thrifty. 

for the girls that i've dated, i know that they've both enjoyed it 

when you do thrift store shopping.

but what to do, you say?

simple.

take $20 out of the bank

(yes, you can spare $20 for her)

and then either get change for 2 $10's

or if you want to be clever

you could always just rip in half

(don't do that though because you're now out $20)

Applying it to a date

if you're like me, you're from the south

and we've got millions of thrift stores

give her $10 and head straight to the thrift store

the key here is to see who can buy the most random things

if you're thinking that's too easy,

then spice it up a bit:

have a project that yall two want to create

while shopping by yourselves

find objects that'll lead to creating this

example.

paige was quite thrifty when it came to making things. men of America, we do not, i repeat, DO NOT use pinterest. so, naturally, we are at a disadvantage of finding things to create on our own. some good ideas for things to make/decorate would be like

a.) a chest that'll hold your memories

b.) an old chair to re-create and give to a family member

c.) a picture frame that yall could make with pictures of yall

d.) something completely random.

Three'sees

let's just keep this one simple, and easy.

find a small child that has a lemonade stand

and buy their stand

but here's the catch...

don't be cocky about it.

some girls don't like to be covered by money

and if you walk up there and start throwing out bills like it aint nothing

(feel free to donate some to me)

ha!

but do it to help a kid out

it'll show that you're more than what meets the eye

and come on,

what girl doesn't like a guy who knows how to help someone out?

Quatro

Themed Nights of The Week

Movie Monday

but have fun with it 

on the first week of the four in a month

have a 40's theme

then next week, a 50's theme

and so on

Taco Tuesday

as college kids, 

we both know what that means

make different tacos each week

as you would with the movies above

Wine Wednesday

i'm a red kind of guy

(Jacob's Creek)

buy different wines and try them out

be sure to keep to brands you've never heard of

it'll make for more fun

Thirsty Thursday

kind of like the one above

but try different restaurants bars

and their special drinks for the night

with those few ideas in mind, you can come up with your own themes for during the week when yall are either studying, or just have extra time to kill.

El Five'o <---clutch spanish right there

surprise her

go to her work and bring her favorite beverage

and/or snack

when you go to leave her work, 

leave a flower on the front of her window

with a little note that says 

"i can't wait to see you tonight!"

So for the somewhat clueless people of MERICA 

that needed some quick and simple date ideas,

 i hope that these somewhat helped!

Dear Juliet,

      It's nights like these when the stars are out just perfectly, and I cannot help but want you by my side. You know, the last time I was in that old hammock, I accidentally stepped on the inside and ripped it. It did me well for about 5 years, but like a lot of other things in life, with time it ages. I wonder if you'll be the type to never want the "highest" dates in life all the time. I hope the simple will always be good enough for you, no matter what because the simple things about you, like your smile, will always be enough for this guy. I miss you more and more everyday, and as always, I cannot wait till the day that you're mine forever. Wherever you are tonight, I hope you sleep well and just know that there's not a star that I have not wished for you on tonight. 

Yours Truly,

Evan

Surviving Love in Life; 365 Days to Juliet. Day 1

CLICK TO LISTEN TO WHAT I WAS LISTENING TO

WHILE WRITING THIS BLOG

 

close your eyes for a second, and just picture your heart.

what do you see? 

for some, it's an organ that's beating within a rhythm that God has set in place

for others, like me, you see your past, future, and present

regardless of what comes to mind, your heart is what's on your mind. 

but what is it exactly that brings light and truth to this simple part of your body?

what is the very thought that comes to your mind about this object?

the heart is a very fragile object. 

it can be strong enough to let another smile in

and it can be weak enough to bring you to your knees

but after it's all said and done,

the rhythm still continues throughout the hours of the day

and it keeps you alive.

isn't that amazing?

the one thing needed to keep you alive is the very thing that you depend on to lead your way

when i watch movies like The Notebook, 

i'm just reminded on what "love" actually is.

i know i've tweeted about it a lot

but there's not a day that passes by that i don't think 

"i wonder who she is..."

or

"i wonder what she's doing right now..."

whoever you are, i've thought about you everyday...and i won't lie to you; twice in my life, i thought that i had already found you. i thought i knew what love was, and wouldn't you know, both times i came up short handed. it amazes me how strong, yet how fragile, the heart is. i don't think we, as humans, will ever fully comprehend what it truly means to love someone; to wake up every morning and picture their smile or to just sit and watch the day pass by while the thought of their love just circles around you like the wind that blows through the mid afternoon sky...

love can scare you sometimes;

when you least expect it, it always seems to sneak up on you

one moment you're enjoying what they call "the single life."

and then the next moment, you're waking up every morning

to try and send the first "good morning" text for them to wake up to

i know sometimes it seems like i know the perfect things to say

or words that mean something for you at the time being

but honestly yall...

...i don't have any of this life thing figured out

as a college kid, i've got a few small things figured out:

1. never go to take a shower without grabbing a towel first

(rags are hard to dry off with)

2. put some extra cash aside for the weekends

3. make sure you call your parents at least once a week

4. there's two times to pray; when you feel like it, and when you don't

5. keep a smile on your face and your heart in the clouds

but what does this all mean..? 

i'm just as puzzled as you.

i don't consider myself different from anyone else

the only thing that i could say that sets me aside,

is that i know what "love" is.

with that being said, 

here's to you, Juliet.

i'm more than convinced that you're out there, somewhere. i've started this blog, for you, and to show other's what it truly means to "wait for that person to come along..."

i'm not perfect, and neither is anyone else

if we wait for the "perfect person" to come along...

...we're going to be quite lonely if "perfection" is looks

but...

if we're honest with ourselves, 

and we're just looking for someone that "perfectly" matches us, 

i'm convinced that there'll never be another lonely night.

here's to you, Juliet.

365 Days

365 Nights

365 Ways to Love you

365 Memories I hope to make

365 songs to write

365 letters

Dear Juliet,

           I woke up this morning to a sunrise, so I know that somewhere out there you woke up with a smile on your face. The day's have been quite long, lately; I'll admit but I am still hanging on the thought of knowing that one day, there won't be any lonely nights anymore. I'm still holding onto the thoughts of us spending our time together, in hopes of making memories that'll last a lifetime. I'm still wishing for the little moments when we're together on the couch, just watching movies, and for the nights when we're out on the town and I can smile when I point to you and say "yeah, that's my angel right there and I am the luckiest man alive to have such a love." Whoever you are, know that there hasn't been a day that's passed that I haven't thought about your smile. Whoever you are, know that there hasn't been a day that's passed that I haven't wondered about the small things, like what your favorite movie is, the color of your eyes, and the sweet serenity of your laugh, and the way your head will fit perfectly on my chest when we fall asleep at night. Whoever you are, I am still here, and Juliet, I am still waiting..

Yours truly,

Evan

a new start.

(play this video to listen to what i was listening to while writing this blog)

 

wow..has it really been over a year since i've updated this? it's crazy to think where i was this time last year. i was about to move to Starkville and i had all these hopes and ambitions on becoming a better person; a better person with you...it's crazy to think what all can happen in a year. i know i've heard this said a million times but it really doesn't hit home until you actually look back at the past year and see where you were and realize where you are now. isn't that life though..? i mean, we live day to day in this world that tells us to love ourselves and to make the best of what we can be and then when we decide to take the reigns and move, we realize that we need another hand to help with those little moments...like when we were kids and we were just learning to walk for the first time. we reached our little arms up towards our parents, and though we couldn't talk, they knew we were saying "i can't do this without your help." they would smile at us, with love in their eyes, pick us up, and for a few brief moments...

...we were on top of the world.

i remember those nights in england back in 2009. i remember lyin in bed many nights just thinking about you and what you were doing. we had just met a couple of months of months earlier...you remember how we met? i know you do because there's not a day that it doesn't pass across my mind...i can still see it now. i was playing guitar and you just happened to come in late. you walked across the room and i swear, you stole every bit of the light. i can still see where you sat, as well. i can close my eyes and still see. even as i type this, my eyes are closed and i can feel that moment..you sat, facing me, second row from the front, third seat from the right. you were wearing a white long sleeve shirt, put your bangs down in front of your eyes, looked up, pulled your hair back, smiled at me, and in that moment i didn't know where i was, or even who i was for that...i'll never forget that moment. i know in front of all those people i probably seemed like i had officially lost all sense of life, but in that moment...

...you were the only thing on my mind

it amazes me how much time we spent together once i came back home. i fell in love with you; and not just you, but everything about you. i knew that you were the last girl i wanted to kiss, the last girl i wanted to hold, and the last girl i ever wanted to be with...they say the winter holds a soft spot for new love and that winter, i felt the greatest i had ever been in my life. i knew that in your arms, i was amazing. i knew that when you kissed me, i felt like anything was possible. i knew that when you told me you loved me, that i finally meant something to someone...we spent an amazing, almost, three years together. i loved every last second. i loved the fights, the memories, the love, and every last bit of what we had. it was real. it was genuine love that few people in this world ever find and at the age of 19, i had that; and more...there was nothing ever more real than your smile on my chest at night and your eyes when i woke up the next morning. i know what we had was real because i can never forget any last second. the world may say that love comes a couple of times in life but...

...the day i met you was the last time i ever wanted to be in love

a few months have passed since the last time i saw you. the last few weeks were a bit rough but i honestly think that was the strongest in love we'd ever been. i miss the ways that we used to send sweet little messages all the time and would call each other during class just to tell you that i love you...we were so in love together because we were so different. i was the guy with the guitar, and you were the girl with that beautiful smile. i was the guy who wrote you love songs, and you were the girl they were about. i was the guy who sent the long text messages, and you were the girl who held me like i was the last thing on earth. i was the guy who gave all of his heart, and you were the girl who guarded hers...you're right; we were different. i would travel across the world and country for you, as i did, and you were the girl who followed only her own dreams. i made sure that i was always there for you and you were the person who made sure you were keen to be where you belonged...i know why you were guarded; i knew every last thing about you, and that's why i fell so in love with you. i know every last thing about you but...

...now he'll begin to pick up where i left off

this is where i move on

there is where i pick up the pieces

this is where i find myself

this is where i find a new face

this is where i become what i once was

this is where i search for a new face

this is where i love her, just like i did for you

this is where my heart finds a new home

this is where my voice finds a new song

this is where we take different ways

this is where you'll always remember

this is where i'll always remember...

...that this was where we found love

i only ever hope the best for you

i only ever hope that you'll find happiness

i only ever hope that he'll be all you've ever wanted

i only ever hope you grow into the woman you always wanted to be

i only ever hope that that smile never leaves

i only ever hope that you'll find love...

goodbye, my lover

goodbye, my friend

you have been the one for me, Paige..

Are You Scared?

(play this video to listen to what i was listening to while writing this blog)

 

what scares you the most?

what keeps you up at night when the moon hangs high?

what gives you hope that tomorrow, you'll wake up?

where do you run to when you've nowhere to hide?

who do you look to for guidance?

what's your biggest fear?

who's your biggest fan?

can you love if you won't let go?

who are you when no one's looking?

where is that one place you feel whole again?

do songs move you to do better than you've ever imagined?

do you hide yourself in lyrics and poems?

what makes you want to become better than what you are?

who gives you love when you feel you're at your weakest?

are you the one that shines?

are you scared to take that last step?

are you empty?

are you scared?

are you brave?

are you homesick?

are you alive?

are you, you?

do you feel you have purpose in this life?

do you stay awake at night most of the time?

what is it that you're afraid to give into?

these are questions that frequently cross my mind

normally, i'm lyin in bed at night

just lookin up at my ceiling

and for a few moments, 

if i close my eyes really tight,

i can feel you in my arms again.

these are the concerns that frequently cross my mind

normally, i'm sittin outside on the porch

just lookin up at the stars

and for a few moments,

if i close my eyes really tight,

i can feel you in my arms again.

these are the hopes that frequently cross my mind

normally, i'm drivin down an old road

just lookin at the lines up ahead

and for a few moments,

if i close my eyes really tight,

i can feel your hand in mine.

these are the dreams that frequently cross my mind

normally, i'm readin our old letters

just lookin at your hand writing on the pa(i)ge,

and for a few moments,

if i close my eyes really tight,

i can feel your hand in mine.

what am i afraid of..?

a life without you.

as always,

sayitevan

Go.

(click to listen to what i was listening to whilst writing this blog)

 

first of all, 

i love you.

how many times in life have we been told that?

from the day we came into this world, 

love has been all around.

sure, families aren't perfect

but we learn to deal with the cards we've been handed.

but what if we settled for what others wanted,

instead of what you, yourself, would like?

what would life be like if we loved more than we fought?

what if we turned hate into love?

lets go to cliche bands like NSN and Jerzak.

was i the only one who caught them in their pity little argument?

i don't think so.

two bands who wanted to push PEACE and LOVE

and yet, as their ages show, they fought.

tell me, where's the peace and love in that?

want to know my opinion?

they're human.

and for them to have done that only shows that people aren't perfect

quite like me.

i'm not perfect by any means.

just as of today, i've given up tobacco and getting drunk

no more dip and drunken nights for this guy.

want to know why?

because of three amazing things.

1. Family.

they're what gets me through the days

i grew up with an older sister and a younger brother

being the middle child in the family honestly, sucks.

you've got to live up to the older ones potential

and then you've got to set the stepping stones for the one below you

easy?

definitely not.

2. Paige.

she's what gets me through my days

even when i've had the hardest day of my life,

i know i can always count on her to put a smile on my face

it's people like her that make the world go round

with her caring smile and her loving ways

3. Jesus.

our God, sent the savior of the world to be a servant

He sent a love that would be ripped to shreds

upon a cross for the wrong that i've done

Jesus, i love you 

and i want to give all i have for you.

my future is on a double edged line right now.

tomorrow will could be a day that will forever change my life

in more ways than one

and want to know the best part of it?

i'm completely ready for whatever happens

because i have three things that a lot of people don't have.

1. family

2. a loving and beautiful girlfriend

3. Jesus Christ, our amazing savior

so where do you find yourself right now?

are you scared of the future?

the future freaks me out (motion city soundtrack)

are you goin to sit on the sidelines because it's safe

or are you gonna suit up and take a couple of hits.

don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

get up and go

you have so much life to live

and yet, what you're settling for is everything than what you were made for.

go love someone.

find a random stranger on the street

and tell them that you love them.

10 bucks says their reaction will be a smile.

why?

because everyone wants love

everyone wants to feel accepted and cared for

just like a child.

we all, in a way, are still loving children.

get up and go.

as always,

sayitevan

Sounds Like Life To Me

Sounds Like Life To Me

 

I knew this blog was comin, but i honestly didn't know when. 

this is my "hopes and dreams blog"

and i hope you'll continue to read along.

first of all, i didn't come from the greatest family life. but my mom did everything she could for me and my sister, and for that, i'm greatful.

but this isn't a rant about my childhood or anything like that.

it's what i want for myself.

and dangit, i want kids. haha like not now, but in a couple (7) years. 

i'm in love with the MOST BEAUTIFUL girl EVER yall.

i mean, she's like the icing on the cake

that girl that walks into a room, and everyone just stops and stares at her

because you wanna know why?

she's just that beautiful.

i'm not going to lie. my girlfriend is EVERYTHING i've ever wanted in someone

i could spend the rest of my life with her,

and i'd be quite alright.

family plans:

(my mother would kill me if she knew i was already planning this)

kids=3

i've wanted a little boy first so that he can look after his little sisters

Kellin (insert middle name here) Dial

i'm a sucker already for my two little baby girls.

i'm gonna spoil them

BUT.

the won't be wearin makeup till they're 21

and baggy shirts and shorts are a MUST

i mean,

these are my baby girls!!!

i know the boy i was and well, dang..

they've got to grow up sometime, right?

okay. okay...maybe makeup at 18 but that's the limit! haha :)

Annie Mae Dial

annie because that's a name part of Paige's family

and Mae, well, let me tell you that story.

my band name is 100thandMay(e)

it's named after my great grandmother, Beluah Mae Dial 

(Momma Dial, as we called her)

so, beautiful Annie Mae Dial

third child.

undecided on name.

Big House=wrap around porch.

i know i want it in coffee house colors

with a room that's split down the middle.

i want to set up an art area on one half of the room facing out the window

for paige because she's an amazing artist

and then on the other side, of course, all of my music stuff 

so that i can play music for her while she paints :)

dogs?

oh yeah.

i want a German Shepard named Seymour

big dogs are the way to go when you have little babies

it's like a scene where the little girl is jumpin on his back to try to ride him like a horse

and not only will my gun cabinet be intimidating, but i want my dog

to put the fear of God in some little boy

who wants to love my beautiful Annie Mae :)

not normally what you hear comin from a guy, right?

that's alright by me.

because a lot of other guys haven't loved someone as amazing as i am right now.

as always,

sayitevan

This town we once called Home.

(click to listen to what i was listening to while writing this blog)

If it's all that i know

it's that i do not know much

from the day i came into this world

until the day i will leave

this will all be

imaginary.

i don't know much

but what i do know

i do not know

and what i do not know

i only know partially.

life is so much more

than we could have thought of 

seen to

or heard from

when we find ourselves

we find truth

when we find others

we find love

when we find forever

we find hope

when we find light

we find happiness

from the end of the tunnel

comes the light from within

are we blind to what a blind man is blind to

or can we only hear what the deaf man hears

inside the wind

blowing softly across his cheek

whispering the secrets of a thousand years

to now.

though we fall
and sometimes we crawl
we are always moving forward
like the deer across the river
and the fish across the land
we are not where we belong
but we adapt

lover, hold out your hand
look at her in the eyes
and watch the sun dance
a brilliant array of sunlight across her cheeks
smell the fresh perfume from her breasts
and fall in love with the sound of her voice
she'll be your hand you forever hold
one day.

laugh when you feel sad
for sadness only lasts through the night
when daylight breaks in the morn
let you smile even more
for the old has washed away
the new day of a new beginning
is slowly coming to.

where you once walked
is now the place where men conquer
for money, wealth, and riches
earthly things that will not last
they continue to destroy that what was
never meant to be taken over.

let your heart be free
sing it the songs of your mother
the life that brought life
into your own.

lover.
love until you can love no more
let the beat of your heart guide you
to where you want to be
to where you can run free
to where you can undoubtedly sing
to where you can be
the song that you dream to be.
to be.

this town we once called home

the place where we learned to love

the place where we learned to walk

the place where we learned to talk

the place where we learned to learn

this town we once called home

will forever be.

as always,

sayitevan

Who I am, With you.

(click the link below, or copy/paste it, to listen to what i was listening to while writing this blog)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hQK6GIrpYU

ok, so picture this. i'm 18, fresh out of high school and just finished a semester of college, and for some reason, i'm ready to leave. it was only two months earlier that i found out that i was moving to England for 5 months. i went to visit an old friend before headin out of the country. i was helping lead worship at his church, playing guitar, while he was singing. about halfway through the second song, this BEAUTIFUL blue eyed, blonde haired girl walks in, (late, might i add) and from the moment she walked in the door, i couldn't take my eyes off her. literally, i totally forgot the song i was playing and left jason there to hang to sing alone while i just sat there. and do you want to know the best part? she smiled at me :) that's what threw me off.

honestly, i wouldn't change a single moment with her

she's the air i breathe

and my best friend

so then we went over to his house and hung out. haha it makes me laugh to realize that we were both with other people at the time. well, i had just broken up with brielle and she was with some jerk named Steve at the time. at least, i think that's what his name is. idk. it could be chase or psycho boyfriend. either would suffice for the time being. we kept in touch while i was overseas for the most part. i came home, finished up my shindig with brielle and knew that there was more than what i could see at the time. there was just something about paige that i wanted. maybe it was her perfect smile, or the way she laughed at my corny jokes. but whatever it was, i knew i had to have her.

love isn't the feeling you get after a few months.

it's the continued passion over time

for the love of one another

a year, and 2 months, and some odd days later, i'm pretty sure i made the greatest decision of my life. marriage is something wayy far off in the future, but before you and everyone else who will read this blog, i, evan dial, will do whatever it takes to love Loren Paige Staton forever. it's funny how things change over time. you go through ups and downs in a relationship, and it's scary sometimes. there's been a couple of nights where we've been yelling at each other, and there's been COUNTLESS nights when we didn't want the moon to come up. but, and she's gonna kill me for sayin this, but her eyes just look so dang beautiful in the moonlight :) haha she's the most beautiful girl in the world, yall. there's not another girl in the this world that can even COMPARE to her! she is, in every way possible, the greatest example of our amazing God! she is His greatest work, by far. i love everything about her, from the tip of her toes to the top of her head. she's my best friend and someone i couldn't live without.

if i had a chance to change one thing about her...

...it would be her last name

as always,

sayitevan

Dear Paige,

i love you more than life.

God gave me you, and that i'm sure of

i will promise to love you forever

no matter the distance

or the days.

you are my beautiful angel

and there's not a moment

that i'm not thinking about you

you are perfect in every way

and i'm more than happy

to say that you're all mine...

Nashville.

A city of dreams, and yet, the one thing i want

is you right by my side tonight as i walk down this road..

sweet blog. simple and to the point. i'm in nashville for the weekend, visiting a good friend of mine. yesterday, i went out on Broadway St all night long and although there were people everywhere, of many nationalities, and from many places, the only thing i wanted was you.

as always,

sayitevan

a thing called love.

(click the link to listen to what i was listening to whilst writing this blog)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27x1sNaSD9s

life.

you know, that's a crazy word. life. i mean, it's something that we go through everyday. we wake up in the morning, and so begins a new day…to be honest with you, i haven't really thought much about "life." where i'll be in the next two years is a mystery to even myself. i can't believe how fast i've grown up. i swear just yesterday i was waking up every morning in the 4th watching Pokemon on the television and the only worries i had was whether i was going to get to go outside to play before my mom got home and checked my report cards. worry. that's another interesting word, as well. it's a word that i know very well. i have two girls that can vouch for that. it's not that i'm "over worried," more along the lines of being scared. i mean, being single and alone just isn't for me. i'm a musician. a writer. a lover. being single just seems so boring and dull. well, that's how i used to think.

i met paige back in 2008. wow. that seems just like yesterday in all reality. i remember the first time i saw her. i was leading worship at a church and she came in, late might i add, and grabbed a chair in the middle aisle. i can see it now. she's got on a pair of jeans and this long sleeved high school t shirt. when she walked in, it was as if everything in the room just stopped. like as if nothing mattered at the time. she sat down and smiled at me, and wouldn't you know it, i forgot the chords to the song and looked like an idiot. then later that night we went to a friends house and made a cake. haha i'm not gonna lie, i did some pretty cheesy things that night to get her to laugh. wanna know the best part? i had just gotten out of a relationship with brielle at the time and she was still with her boyfriend. yep. i was gonna be a homewrecker, in a sense. i knew that day that i had to have her; i just wasn't sure when.

i cannot stress this enough.

she makes me happier than i've ever been in life.

so, now that it's january 11th, 2011, i can honestly tell you i've been with my best friend for a year and some odd weeks. she's taught me a lot these past couple of months. i used to always "worry" about our future. whether we'd be together, or what she was doing. it's crazy to think that this little girl has become my life. she'll be heading off to college in august, and the one thing she keeps repeating is that "if God wants us to be together, we will be…" it's a whole different ball game when you pull the "God" card. but honestly, isn't that why we're here? to love a loving God who first loved us..? i'll be honest. i haven't been the best boyfriend for paige. there's been multiple nights where i've lost my temper and said things i shouldn't have…there's been nights where i've made her cry, and there's been nights when i haven't even called her goodnight. yeah, i'm a jerk right? i'll admit it. there's nothing in the world that i'll agree to than that. i'm not perfect. i don't try to be, but with her, it just comes natural…

i love her. i honestly do. with all of my heart, i love you, paige. i know she'll be reading this because this is becoming her new hobby. speaking of which, it's funny how the things she likes, which were once the things that i hated, i've grown to love. like clark shoes, country music, and a whole bunch of other stuff. she makes fun of my southern accent quite regularly, and i'm goin to start speaking like a northern person soon so she'll have a legit reason to make fun of me because i DO NOT sound southern. well, maybe. but i don't see it. what was i talkin about again? oh yeah! my girlfriend :)

love with her is more than just an emotional tie.

it's life.

you know when you get those butterflies in your stomach when you see someone? well i get like moths. in a cute way. it's as if nothing in the world matters when i'm with her. it's as if God's saying, "hey, have a break from life. i've got the rest situated out…" it's moments when we're lying on the couch and her beautiful head is resting on my chest. sometimes when she's asleep, i lean down to kiss her on the forehead and run my fingers down her face. i can imagine this story has been played out before in history. when people stand before famous paintings, just trying to grasp an inch of memory from what they've just seen. a masterpiece, a work of art created and sculpted by one of the most talented men, or women, of the time. it's that last breath of air you take that you wish would last all night. it's the thought that you're trying to comprehend in your mind. it's love.

i'm nearing the end of my blog. it'll be a moment when i close my mac, and lie on the bed listening to music, looking up at the ceiling, wondering what she's doing. i love her. with all of my heart. i'd give anything to lie beside her at night. it's those cold winter nights when she's holding onto me while we walk outside. it's those warm summer nights when she's holding my hand. it's those times when i feel like i can do anything. she's taught me more than anyone else ever has. it's crazy to think that she loves me. i'm such a screw up, most times; more than often. but yet she loves me the same…i'm a dork. just ask her. i promise you that she'll agree. but i can't help but smile as i write every word of this. knowing that this weekend, i'll get to go fall more in love with the girl i'm writing about. i get to go out to a movie and out to dinner and then come home and bake a cake or cupcakes, whichever she's in the mood for, and just look in her eyes and realize even more what love is. i love her with all of my heart and i wouldn't trade her for the world.

i'd give anything in the world for her to realize

that every waking moment

i fall more and more in love with her

as always,

sayitevan

New Life As Of Now

honestly.

i honestly cannot remember the last time i update this thing. wow. just lookin back at my posts from two years ago, and it just blows my mind how much has actually changed. most of my focus was on brielle at the time; the distance wasn't fair. i remember nights staying up till 2am just sittin there wonderin what the future would hold and countin down the days till i came back to her. well, i came home. she was there. and now, 2 years later, i find myself hundreds of miles away from her. it kills me to know all the time i spent puttin into that relationship and to find myself where i am now. hey, i'm gettin to the point. just hold on!

see that girl up to the right corner? yeah, that's my best friend :) she told me the other day that she had started a blog, and comin back to this site brings back a bunch of old memories, but i know with her by my side, anything's possible..

"i'll take off my halo if you take off your wings..."

here's to a new beginning.

a new way of life.

a new way of thinking.

here's to a new love and a new life.

sayitevan

I miss my best friend..

I miss my best friend…
(i've learned that listening to music while reading brings out the "emotion" of each sentence...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6qcPNdg3G8

Throughout one’s life time, friends come and go and new ones are made and old ones are gone. We tend to place ourselves out there, in a sense that we, as humans, want acceptance. Don’t believe me? If you have MySpace/Facebook/Bebo/ or whatever, you use that to meet and talk to other people. Acceptance. And if you don’t have either of those, try texting. I’ve heard it said that the main reason people have text is because at the time that they feel lonely because no one is talking to them, they use text to have someone think about them.

It’s just in our blood to be accepted. And if you DON’T want to, it’s because you do. Ironic right? We put ourselves away so that we can be found. But what does all of this have to do with me missing my best friend? Everything. I know these blogs tend to be centered around one person, and rightly so they are. She taught what it meant to live and to love. I can remember the day we first met and how she just caught me with that smile. (For those of you who don’t know, smiles mean everything to me.) And honestly had one that would brighten up the darkest room. I can remember one night when we were playing at a restaurant called Bops. I remember not caring about all the people that were there and only wanting her. We played for about 10 minutes and she didn’t show up. I was honestly freaking out because her favorite song at the time was The Great Escape by BoyslikeGirls and we were going to play that. Well, 30 minutes later, but well on time, she came. We had already played the song once but I begged the guys to play it again, and we did, and she smiled, and I fell in love with her.

Love is a funny thing sometimes. Do we want “love” to feel accepted or “love” to feel complete? They both sound quite amazing to be and to be honest, I’d like to say we want “love” for both. I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I’ve noticed that I’m staying up much later than I have before and also finding myself doing things I’ve hardly ever done. I started writing poetry and honestly, I enjoy doing that more than I like writing songs. It’s just when you write poems, you’re free to do whatever. You’re not set to a time signature or a pitch. It’s just you and your thoughts, along with a sheet of paper and a pen.

I’ve honestly missed my best friend. “Miss” is the word fit to describe what I’ve been going through. I have counted days and months, trying to figure out if I could beat time and turn May into tomorrow. Guys, I can’t sleep, I can’t write, I can’t do a lot of what I used to do. And it’s not that I “want” to feel these things but that it’s just all happening at once. I won’t be there for her prom, along with Winter Semiformal and Valentine’s Day. I’ve given up a lot to be here but I’ve been learning everyday that I need this Strength that I’ve never honestly had to use before. Guys, I miss Brielle more than words can describe, but I’ve come to learn that God has me here for a reason and that reason is to serve. I’m not going to blackmail God and say “well I moved to England to do Your work, so can I have her in return?” No, because that would totallyy ruin every last second I’ve been here. God gives us the desires of our hearts and right now, mines very much NOT in tact.

I’d like to think that when I wake up tomorrow, I’ll be in my bed back home in Mississippi hearing my alarm clock go off and wishing my bed wasn’t facing the window because the sun always sucks when you’re trying to sleep in. I’d like to think that I’ll wake up to “Good morning my Evan! I hope you have a good day today! I love you!” I lived for those messages. Like waking up was ACTUALLY fun because I knew that almost every morning, she would have already woken up and thought about me while she was getting ready. That was just what she did. When I was having a horrible day, I knew I could always talk to Brielle. If life wasn’t going in order, Brielle. It’s just that guys, she was honestly my best friend. And now that I’m 13,000,000 miles away from home, I’m finally realizing what she was to me.
Don’t ever ever ever EVER take for granted those who love you. You may THINK that you would want to be with someone else, but WHY START OVER? They love you just as you are and you’re wanting to be with someone else? Guys, that’s idiot. That’s just NOT smart. And don’t let others say “oh, you’re young, it’s not love.” Yes. Yes IT IS. It’s love and you feel it just as much as anyone else has and you know you’re heart.

I like sharing my Faith with you when you ask. It’s honestly amazing. I like sharing about these blogs and how even though I’m feeling lonely and sad, I can look to God for help and reassurance on why I’m here. I don’t know really what else to say. I know she’ll probably never read this but if you are, I miss you Brielle. More than words can ever describe. I miss the way you’d wait all day for me to get home to just hear my voice before you went to bed. I miss your texts every morning and I miss the way you were just you around me and how you’d smile when I would play you my songs. You know that EVERY song on my MySpace is about you and you know that I’ve only loved one girl in my life. I may be miles away from you, an ocean apart, but my love for you is only closer to me every day. I can’t wait to see you when I get home!

evan :)

Choosing Which Way

Choosing which way

Have there honestly ever been a time when you didn’t know “what” to do? Like it seemed like you had everything planned out, down to the very “t” and then, everything blew up right in front of you? I mean, you tried soo hard for soo long to make something what it is and then in the blink of an eye, or a night, it’s gone. Literally, every single day you spent creating this master piece and within thirty minutes, can totally be destroyed. So what’s the point of this blog? Ha. You’re not alone…
Here’s my story. I met my best friend in the whole wide world on December 5th, 2007. I spent exactly 11 months with her and can honestly look back and say without her, I really don’t know who I’d be today. If you would have seen me about that time, I had MAJOR puffy hair and I always always always wore shirts that were wayy too tight on me and vans and converses everyday. To some people, that’s amazing. But I was just trying to live this life that was “fit” with the music scene.
I gave many countless hours to her. Not only when I was with her but nights on the phone and goodness, I don’t know HOW many texts I sent her. BUT getting back to my point. We broke up on November 13th, 2008. ALMOST made it to a year but dumb butt here had to think he could be with someone else. BIG mistake. It didn’t work. From my previous blog earlier, I talked about the “goody” bag thing. And after I let her go, well, I got my goody bad and it sucked. Like horribly. I found myself crying myself to sleep every night for 3 weeks straight. I couldn’t even click on her Facebook without freaking out about what I could “possibly” see. I mean, would another guy have written on her wall? Had someone already asked her out on a date? And all these thoughts were racing through my mind and I didn’t know HOW to handle it.
Soo long story short, I’m at a fork in the road where I DON’T know what to do. It seems like I’ve got a lot riding in two different ways but I’ve got to believe my better judgment on this. I’m amazed by some of the stories yall are telling me. There’s a girl in MI that asked me about what I didn’t know. And this is it. I DON’T know WHAT to do but I’m learning that I learn a little more everyday.
Maybe it WOULD be best to move on. I mean, I’m a single 19 year old guy that writes cheesy love songs for a living. I’m pretty sure there’s some cutee university girl out there with straight blonde hair, curly when she’s going out, and honestly willing to start over new as well. But you can never leave your first love. They say that the average human falls in love four times in their lives. FOUR times. If I had to go through what I’ve gone through in November FOUR times, I would die. Like literally. I couldn’t. I don’t know WHAT I’d do to be honest. But what’s your opinion? Stay with what I know best or try something different? What’s your input on this? Email me on myspace. Oh yeah! If you guys have topics you want me to write about, please please please email me and I’ll write about each one.
I heart you guys!

evan :)