Are You Scared?

(play this video to listen to what i was listening to while writing this blog)

 

what scares you the most?

what keeps you up at night when the moon hangs high?

what gives you hope that tomorrow, you'll wake up?

where do you run to when you've nowhere to hide?

who do you look to for guidance?

what's your biggest fear?

who's your biggest fan?

can you love if you won't let go?

who are you when no one's looking?

where is that one place you feel whole again?

do songs move you to do better than you've ever imagined?

do you hide yourself in lyrics and poems?

what makes you want to become better than what you are?

who gives you love when you feel you're at your weakest?

are you the one that shines?

are you scared to take that last step?

are you empty?

are you scared?

are you brave?

are you homesick?

are you alive?

are you, you?

do you feel you have purpose in this life?

do you stay awake at night most of the time?

what is it that you're afraid to give into?

these are questions that frequently cross my mind

normally, i'm lyin in bed at night

just lookin up at my ceiling

and for a few moments, 

if i close my eyes really tight,

i can feel you in my arms again.

these are the concerns that frequently cross my mind

normally, i'm sittin outside on the porch

just lookin up at the stars

and for a few moments,

if i close my eyes really tight,

i can feel you in my arms again.

these are the hopes that frequently cross my mind

normally, i'm drivin down an old road

just lookin at the lines up ahead

and for a few moments,

if i close my eyes really tight,

i can feel your hand in mine.

these are the dreams that frequently cross my mind

normally, i'm readin our old letters

just lookin at your hand writing on the pa(i)ge,

and for a few moments,

if i close my eyes really tight,

i can feel your hand in mine.

what am i afraid of..?

a life without you.

as always,

sayitevan

Go.

(click to listen to what i was listening to whilst writing this blog)

 

first of all, 

i love you.

how many times in life have we been told that?

from the day we came into this world, 

love has been all around.

sure, families aren't perfect

but we learn to deal with the cards we've been handed.

but what if we settled for what others wanted,

instead of what you, yourself, would like?

what would life be like if we loved more than we fought?

what if we turned hate into love?

lets go to cliche bands like NSN and Jerzak.

was i the only one who caught them in their pity little argument?

i don't think so.

two bands who wanted to push PEACE and LOVE

and yet, as their ages show, they fought.

tell me, where's the peace and love in that?

want to know my opinion?

they're human.

and for them to have done that only shows that people aren't perfect

quite like me.

i'm not perfect by any means.

just as of today, i've given up tobacco and getting drunk

no more dip and drunken nights for this guy.

want to know why?

because of three amazing things.

1. Family.

they're what gets me through the days

i grew up with an older sister and a younger brother

being the middle child in the family honestly, sucks.

you've got to live up to the older ones potential

and then you've got to set the stepping stones for the one below you

easy?

definitely not.

2. Paige.

she's what gets me through my days

even when i've had the hardest day of my life,

i know i can always count on her to put a smile on my face

it's people like her that make the world go round

with her caring smile and her loving ways

3. Jesus.

our God, sent the savior of the world to be a servant

He sent a love that would be ripped to shreds

upon a cross for the wrong that i've done

Jesus, i love you 

and i want to give all i have for you.

my future is on a double edged line right now.

tomorrow will could be a day that will forever change my life

in more ways than one

and want to know the best part of it?

i'm completely ready for whatever happens

because i have three things that a lot of people don't have.

1. family

2. a loving and beautiful girlfriend

3. Jesus Christ, our amazing savior

so where do you find yourself right now?

are you scared of the future?

the future freaks me out (motion city soundtrack)

are you goin to sit on the sidelines because it's safe

or are you gonna suit up and take a couple of hits.

don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

get up and go

you have so much life to live

and yet, what you're settling for is everything than what you were made for.

go love someone.

find a random stranger on the street

and tell them that you love them.

10 bucks says their reaction will be a smile.

why?

because everyone wants love

everyone wants to feel accepted and cared for

just like a child.

we all, in a way, are still loving children.

get up and go.

as always,

sayitevan

Sounds Like Life To Me

Sounds Like Life To Me

 

I knew this blog was comin, but i honestly didn't know when. 

this is my "hopes and dreams blog"

and i hope you'll continue to read along.

first of all, i didn't come from the greatest family life. but my mom did everything she could for me and my sister, and for that, i'm greatful.

but this isn't a rant about my childhood or anything like that.

it's what i want for myself.

and dangit, i want kids. haha like not now, but in a couple (7) years. 

i'm in love with the MOST BEAUTIFUL girl EVER yall.

i mean, she's like the icing on the cake

that girl that walks into a room, and everyone just stops and stares at her

because you wanna know why?

she's just that beautiful.

i'm not going to lie. my girlfriend is EVERYTHING i've ever wanted in someone

i could spend the rest of my life with her,

and i'd be quite alright.

family plans:

(my mother would kill me if she knew i was already planning this)

kids=3

i've wanted a little boy first so that he can look after his little sisters

Kellin (insert middle name here) Dial

i'm a sucker already for my two little baby girls.

i'm gonna spoil them

BUT.

the won't be wearin makeup till they're 21

and baggy shirts and shorts are a MUST

i mean,

these are my baby girls!!!

i know the boy i was and well, dang..

they've got to grow up sometime, right?

okay. okay...maybe makeup at 18 but that's the limit! haha :)

Annie Mae Dial

annie because that's a name part of Paige's family

and Mae, well, let me tell you that story.

my band name is 100thandMay(e)

it's named after my great grandmother, Beluah Mae Dial 

(Momma Dial, as we called her)

so, beautiful Annie Mae Dial

third child.

undecided on name.

Big House=wrap around porch.

i know i want it in coffee house colors

with a room that's split down the middle.

i want to set up an art area on one half of the room facing out the window

for paige because she's an amazing artist

and then on the other side, of course, all of my music stuff 

so that i can play music for her while she paints :)

dogs?

oh yeah.

i want a German Shepard named Seymour

big dogs are the way to go when you have little babies

it's like a scene where the little girl is jumpin on his back to try to ride him like a horse

and not only will my gun cabinet be intimidating, but i want my dog

to put the fear of God in some little boy

who wants to love my beautiful Annie Mae :)

not normally what you hear comin from a guy, right?

that's alright by me.

because a lot of other guys haven't loved someone as amazing as i am right now.

as always,

sayitevan

This town we once called Home.

(click to listen to what i was listening to while writing this blog)

If it's all that i know

it's that i do not know much

from the day i came into this world

until the day i will leave

this will all be

imaginary.

i don't know much

but what i do know

i do not know

and what i do not know

i only know partially.

life is so much more

than we could have thought of 

seen to

or heard from

when we find ourselves

we find truth

when we find others

we find love

when we find forever

we find hope

when we find light

we find happiness

from the end of the tunnel

comes the light from within

are we blind to what a blind man is blind to

or can we only hear what the deaf man hears

inside the wind

blowing softly across his cheek

whispering the secrets of a thousand years

to now.

though we fall
and sometimes we crawl
we are always moving forward
like the deer across the river
and the fish across the land
we are not where we belong
but we adapt

lover, hold out your hand
look at her in the eyes
and watch the sun dance
a brilliant array of sunlight across her cheeks
smell the fresh perfume from her breasts
and fall in love with the sound of her voice
she'll be your hand you forever hold
one day.

laugh when you feel sad
for sadness only lasts through the night
when daylight breaks in the morn
let you smile even more
for the old has washed away
the new day of a new beginning
is slowly coming to.

where you once walked
is now the place where men conquer
for money, wealth, and riches
earthly things that will not last
they continue to destroy that what was
never meant to be taken over.

let your heart be free
sing it the songs of your mother
the life that brought life
into your own.

lover.
love until you can love no more
let the beat of your heart guide you
to where you want to be
to where you can run free
to where you can undoubtedly sing
to where you can be
the song that you dream to be.
to be.

this town we once called home

the place where we learned to love

the place where we learned to walk

the place where we learned to talk

the place where we learned to learn

this town we once called home

will forever be.

as always,

sayitevan

Who I am, With you.

(click the link below, or copy/paste it, to listen to what i was listening to while writing this blog)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hQK6GIrpYU

ok, so picture this. i'm 18, fresh out of high school and just finished a semester of college, and for some reason, i'm ready to leave. it was only two months earlier that i found out that i was moving to England for 5 months. i went to visit an old friend before headin out of the country. i was helping lead worship at his church, playing guitar, while he was singing. about halfway through the second song, this BEAUTIFUL blue eyed, blonde haired girl walks in, (late, might i add) and from the moment she walked in the door, i couldn't take my eyes off her. literally, i totally forgot the song i was playing and left jason there to hang to sing alone while i just sat there. and do you want to know the best part? she smiled at me :) that's what threw me off.

honestly, i wouldn't change a single moment with her

she's the air i breathe

and my best friend

so then we went over to his house and hung out. haha it makes me laugh to realize that we were both with other people at the time. well, i had just broken up with brielle and she was with some jerk named Steve at the time. at least, i think that's what his name is. idk. it could be chase or psycho boyfriend. either would suffice for the time being. we kept in touch while i was overseas for the most part. i came home, finished up my shindig with brielle and knew that there was more than what i could see at the time. there was just something about paige that i wanted. maybe it was her perfect smile, or the way she laughed at my corny jokes. but whatever it was, i knew i had to have her.

love isn't the feeling you get after a few months.

it's the continued passion over time

for the love of one another

a year, and 2 months, and some odd days later, i'm pretty sure i made the greatest decision of my life. marriage is something wayy far off in the future, but before you and everyone else who will read this blog, i, evan dial, will do whatever it takes to love Loren Paige Staton forever. it's funny how things change over time. you go through ups and downs in a relationship, and it's scary sometimes. there's been a couple of nights where we've been yelling at each other, and there's been COUNTLESS nights when we didn't want the moon to come up. but, and she's gonna kill me for sayin this, but her eyes just look so dang beautiful in the moonlight :) haha she's the most beautiful girl in the world, yall. there's not another girl in the this world that can even COMPARE to her! she is, in every way possible, the greatest example of our amazing God! she is His greatest work, by far. i love everything about her, from the tip of her toes to the top of her head. she's my best friend and someone i couldn't live without.

if i had a chance to change one thing about her...

...it would be her last name

as always,

sayitevan

Dear Paige,

i love you more than life.

God gave me you, and that i'm sure of

i will promise to love you forever

no matter the distance

or the days.

you are my beautiful angel

and there's not a moment

that i'm not thinking about you

you are perfect in every way

and i'm more than happy

to say that you're all mine...

Nashville.

A city of dreams, and yet, the one thing i want

is you right by my side tonight as i walk down this road..

sweet blog. simple and to the point. i'm in nashville for the weekend, visiting a good friend of mine. yesterday, i went out on Broadway St all night long and although there were people everywhere, of many nationalities, and from many places, the only thing i wanted was you.

as always,

sayitevan

a thing called love.

(click the link to listen to what i was listening to whilst writing this blog)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27x1sNaSD9s

life.

you know, that's a crazy word. life. i mean, it's something that we go through everyday. we wake up in the morning, and so begins a new day…to be honest with you, i haven't really thought much about "life." where i'll be in the next two years is a mystery to even myself. i can't believe how fast i've grown up. i swear just yesterday i was waking up every morning in the 4th watching Pokemon on the television and the only worries i had was whether i was going to get to go outside to play before my mom got home and checked my report cards. worry. that's another interesting word, as well. it's a word that i know very well. i have two girls that can vouch for that. it's not that i'm "over worried," more along the lines of being scared. i mean, being single and alone just isn't for me. i'm a musician. a writer. a lover. being single just seems so boring and dull. well, that's how i used to think.

i met paige back in 2008. wow. that seems just like yesterday in all reality. i remember the first time i saw her. i was leading worship at a church and she came in, late might i add, and grabbed a chair in the middle aisle. i can see it now. she's got on a pair of jeans and this long sleeved high school t shirt. when she walked in, it was as if everything in the room just stopped. like as if nothing mattered at the time. she sat down and smiled at me, and wouldn't you know it, i forgot the chords to the song and looked like an idiot. then later that night we went to a friends house and made a cake. haha i'm not gonna lie, i did some pretty cheesy things that night to get her to laugh. wanna know the best part? i had just gotten out of a relationship with brielle at the time and she was still with her boyfriend. yep. i was gonna be a homewrecker, in a sense. i knew that day that i had to have her; i just wasn't sure when.

i cannot stress this enough.

she makes me happier than i've ever been in life.

so, now that it's january 11th, 2011, i can honestly tell you i've been with my best friend for a year and some odd weeks. she's taught me a lot these past couple of months. i used to always "worry" about our future. whether we'd be together, or what she was doing. it's crazy to think that this little girl has become my life. she'll be heading off to college in august, and the one thing she keeps repeating is that "if God wants us to be together, we will be…" it's a whole different ball game when you pull the "God" card. but honestly, isn't that why we're here? to love a loving God who first loved us..? i'll be honest. i haven't been the best boyfriend for paige. there's been multiple nights where i've lost my temper and said things i shouldn't have…there's been nights where i've made her cry, and there's been nights when i haven't even called her goodnight. yeah, i'm a jerk right? i'll admit it. there's nothing in the world that i'll agree to than that. i'm not perfect. i don't try to be, but with her, it just comes natural…

i love her. i honestly do. with all of my heart, i love you, paige. i know she'll be reading this because this is becoming her new hobby. speaking of which, it's funny how the things she likes, which were once the things that i hated, i've grown to love. like clark shoes, country music, and a whole bunch of other stuff. she makes fun of my southern accent quite regularly, and i'm goin to start speaking like a northern person soon so she'll have a legit reason to make fun of me because i DO NOT sound southern. well, maybe. but i don't see it. what was i talkin about again? oh yeah! my girlfriend :)

love with her is more than just an emotional tie.

it's life.

you know when you get those butterflies in your stomach when you see someone? well i get like moths. in a cute way. it's as if nothing in the world matters when i'm with her. it's as if God's saying, "hey, have a break from life. i've got the rest situated out…" it's moments when we're lying on the couch and her beautiful head is resting on my chest. sometimes when she's asleep, i lean down to kiss her on the forehead and run my fingers down her face. i can imagine this story has been played out before in history. when people stand before famous paintings, just trying to grasp an inch of memory from what they've just seen. a masterpiece, a work of art created and sculpted by one of the most talented men, or women, of the time. it's that last breath of air you take that you wish would last all night. it's the thought that you're trying to comprehend in your mind. it's love.

i'm nearing the end of my blog. it'll be a moment when i close my mac, and lie on the bed listening to music, looking up at the ceiling, wondering what she's doing. i love her. with all of my heart. i'd give anything to lie beside her at night. it's those cold winter nights when she's holding onto me while we walk outside. it's those warm summer nights when she's holding my hand. it's those times when i feel like i can do anything. she's taught me more than anyone else ever has. it's crazy to think that she loves me. i'm such a screw up, most times; more than often. but yet she loves me the same…i'm a dork. just ask her. i promise you that she'll agree. but i can't help but smile as i write every word of this. knowing that this weekend, i'll get to go fall more in love with the girl i'm writing about. i get to go out to a movie and out to dinner and then come home and bake a cake or cupcakes, whichever she's in the mood for, and just look in her eyes and realize even more what love is. i love her with all of my heart and i wouldn't trade her for the world.

i'd give anything in the world for her to realize

that every waking moment

i fall more and more in love with her

as always,

sayitevan

New Life As Of Now

honestly.

i honestly cannot remember the last time i update this thing. wow. just lookin back at my posts from two years ago, and it just blows my mind how much has actually changed. most of my focus was on brielle at the time; the distance wasn't fair. i remember nights staying up till 2am just sittin there wonderin what the future would hold and countin down the days till i came back to her. well, i came home. she was there. and now, 2 years later, i find myself hundreds of miles away from her. it kills me to know all the time i spent puttin into that relationship and to find myself where i am now. hey, i'm gettin to the point. just hold on!

see that girl up to the right corner? yeah, that's my best friend :) she told me the other day that she had started a blog, and comin back to this site brings back a bunch of old memories, but i know with her by my side, anything's possible..

"i'll take off my halo if you take off your wings..."

here's to a new beginning.

a new way of life.

a new way of thinking.

here's to a new love and a new life.

sayitevan