Sometimes I don’t have all the answers.
I wonder from day to day how I got here. Like what plans are there honestly for me? Was I to be a doctor and help save lives; was I supposed to be a mailman and deliver news to the people around the world; or was I supposed to write music and help people through that? There’s so many things in my life that I just sit and look at and wonder. “Honestly, why me?” And not ALL the time is that a bad thing. It could be good or bad.
Living in England has posed many questions and honestly, I can’t answer them. Have you ever felt like your heart was pulling in two different directions? Picture this. You’re 18, starting college, and the ONLY thing you see is a new life. New friends, new faces, new places, and new opportunities…but for some reason the “new” isn’t what you thought. You once had everything you could ever imagine and you traded it all for a bag of goodies, you know, those when you were a kid you paid like a dollar for and it had those cheap plastic toys and a couple pieces of candy? Yeah? Well that’s honestly what I did. I had everything in the world and once I saw blue skies up ahead, I jumped ship and went to nothing but more water.
I mean, I didn’t ask for this life. If it weren’t for Chad Sugg, I would have probably never picked up a guitar and started writing cheesy acoustic love songs. I owe a lot of what I do to many people. They’re influences and friends. But I find myself at 11:19 pm writing another pointless blog that probably no one will ever read but then I get an email saying “Evan, I can relate to every word I read” and it makes it all worth it. I know it seems like I post a lot of “emotional” blogs, but I for one, actually live the songs I write. I don’t try to make pretty words rhyme or say something that will make you smile, but they are honestly my life. Songs like “Always and Forever” and “The Unperfect Summer” are actual events that happened in my life. They’re my stories written in song form for you to enjoy. But when you listen to my songs, don’t think of a new MySpace profile song, but honestly think of them as a daily blog with music. They’re my life.
I had my life once. She stood about 5’2 and had blue eyes I swear she stole from the sky. There are a lot of things I wish I could take back. But if anything this journey has taught me, it’s that I’m still a boy. I’m in NO way close to being a man and that’s honestly what I need to become. I’m tired of making up excuses and lies to get my way through. If I’ve made a mistake, LIVE UP TO IT. If I’ve been caught in a lie, LIVE UP TO IT. If I’ve made mistakes, yes, I need to live up to them. It’s about time I became honest with myself. And sometimes, I don’t have all the answers but I’ve learned that sometimes it’s okay to not know everything right now. I mean, if we did, it wouldn’t be “life” right?
The simple should be hard. Life should be a pain and everyone should cry at least once a month. Harsh right? But it makes you you and honestly, that’s what’s beautiful. Live your lives and dance your dances but after the lights go out and all the fun is over, the ones that were there from the start are those who honestly care. No matter how many mistakes you make, the ones who love you are always there. Picking you up when you’re drunk off your feet and you’re slurring your words like crazy. Be a helping hand. Let others know you’re not out there to judge them but merely lending a hand. We’ve got enough violence in the world today, just turn your television on. Be a smile when no one else has one and ask yourself this. “How did we get here?” it’s a funny thought if you really think about it. well, it’s about 11:27 pm and I need to be heading to bed.
I hope in some ways these blogs can be helpful. You’re not alone, and you’ve never been. You just haven’t ever written your thoughts and words down and I promise you, once you do, everything becomes better. Holding things in is a mistake because the only way to get over something is to reach out a hand. You make do it blinded but there’s always a hand on the other side. May be on the other side of the world, but I promise, I won’t let go. I’ll be your friend. I’ll be someone you can talk to. Why? Because I care. I was given a heart of caring and it’s what I do best. I hate overrated musicians who are in it for the fame. Wait. I’m Baptist. I can’t “STAND” overrated musicians. God save the Queen. But I’ll honestly be your friend…I hope you’re having an amazing day and I guess I’ll post more when it’s late at night and can’t sleep!
I love you guys!
evan :)
PS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEW SONG NEW SONG!
ALWAYS AND FOREVER
http://www.myspace.com/100thandmay
I wonder from day to day how I got here. Like what plans are there honestly for me? Was I to be a doctor and help save lives; was I supposed to be a mailman and deliver news to the people around the world; or was I supposed to write music and help people through that? There’s so many things in my life that I just sit and look at and wonder. “Honestly, why me?” And not ALL the time is that a bad thing. It could be good or bad.
Living in England has posed many questions and honestly, I can’t answer them. Have you ever felt like your heart was pulling in two different directions? Picture this. You’re 18, starting college, and the ONLY thing you see is a new life. New friends, new faces, new places, and new opportunities…but for some reason the “new” isn’t what you thought. You once had everything you could ever imagine and you traded it all for a bag of goodies, you know, those when you were a kid you paid like a dollar for and it had those cheap plastic toys and a couple pieces of candy? Yeah? Well that’s honestly what I did. I had everything in the world and once I saw blue skies up ahead, I jumped ship and went to nothing but more water.
I mean, I didn’t ask for this life. If it weren’t for Chad Sugg, I would have probably never picked up a guitar and started writing cheesy acoustic love songs. I owe a lot of what I do to many people. They’re influences and friends. But I find myself at 11:19 pm writing another pointless blog that probably no one will ever read but then I get an email saying “Evan, I can relate to every word I read” and it makes it all worth it. I know it seems like I post a lot of “emotional” blogs, but I for one, actually live the songs I write. I don’t try to make pretty words rhyme or say something that will make you smile, but they are honestly my life. Songs like “Always and Forever” and “The Unperfect Summer” are actual events that happened in my life. They’re my stories written in song form for you to enjoy. But when you listen to my songs, don’t think of a new MySpace profile song, but honestly think of them as a daily blog with music. They’re my life.
I had my life once. She stood about 5’2 and had blue eyes I swear she stole from the sky. There are a lot of things I wish I could take back. But if anything this journey has taught me, it’s that I’m still a boy. I’m in NO way close to being a man and that’s honestly what I need to become. I’m tired of making up excuses and lies to get my way through. If I’ve made a mistake, LIVE UP TO IT. If I’ve been caught in a lie, LIVE UP TO IT. If I’ve made mistakes, yes, I need to live up to them. It’s about time I became honest with myself. And sometimes, I don’t have all the answers but I’ve learned that sometimes it’s okay to not know everything right now. I mean, if we did, it wouldn’t be “life” right?
The simple should be hard. Life should be a pain and everyone should cry at least once a month. Harsh right? But it makes you you and honestly, that’s what’s beautiful. Live your lives and dance your dances but after the lights go out and all the fun is over, the ones that were there from the start are those who honestly care. No matter how many mistakes you make, the ones who love you are always there. Picking you up when you’re drunk off your feet and you’re slurring your words like crazy. Be a helping hand. Let others know you’re not out there to judge them but merely lending a hand. We’ve got enough violence in the world today, just turn your television on. Be a smile when no one else has one and ask yourself this. “How did we get here?” it’s a funny thought if you really think about it. well, it’s about 11:27 pm and I need to be heading to bed.
I hope in some ways these blogs can be helpful. You’re not alone, and you’ve never been. You just haven’t ever written your thoughts and words down and I promise you, once you do, everything becomes better. Holding things in is a mistake because the only way to get over something is to reach out a hand. You make do it blinded but there’s always a hand on the other side. May be on the other side of the world, but I promise, I won’t let go. I’ll be your friend. I’ll be someone you can talk to. Why? Because I care. I was given a heart of caring and it’s what I do best. I hate overrated musicians who are in it for the fame. Wait. I’m Baptist. I can’t “STAND” overrated musicians. God save the Queen. But I’ll honestly be your friend…I hope you’re having an amazing day and I guess I’ll post more when it’s late at night and can’t sleep!
I love you guys!
evan :)
PS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEW SONG NEW SONG!
ALWAYS AND FOREVER
http://www.myspace.com/100thandmay
this blog made my day (:
ReplyDeleteyou're amazing.